Everyone Gets Scared
by 525Clouds
Summary: Yuuri is his everything. So when dark thoughts begin to cloud his mind, no one can blame him dodging sleep and even working himself to the bone to avoid his troubling nightmares. And in his time of need, there will always be the lovely, dark-haired Japanese man waiting to comfort him. A small Viktuuri / Victuri / Victuuri story.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Yuri! On Ice, although I would love to. Please disregard any spelling or grammar issues I missed. (not sure when this happens in the timeline. Yuuri and Viktor are in separate rooms, and there is nothing going on between them... Wellllllll that either of them know about ^.^) That all said, please enjoy!**

* * *

The playboy discards the loveliest woman after he successfully seduces her.

He uses then loses her.

When everything had first started, beginning with the Hot Springs on Ice tournament, Yuuri had claimed he had felt closer to the woman than the playboy. Of course, there had been no disagreement at the time. ' _That cinnamon roll would never be able to do that_!' they all had thought. Except one. What everyone hadn't known was that he had already seduced his 'coach'. The title itself a constant reminder of the very night it had happened. Now Viktor's biggest fear, he had to admit, was what came after the seduction.

Abandonment.

Now, Viktor couldn't see himself being described as someone with abandonment issues. Far from it really. He was quite confident in himself that even if someone were to leave him, he knew that he could replace them in his heart. Well, replace wasn't exactly the right word for it. More like he would just be putting a metaphorical tarp over a hole rather than filling it in. He wouldn't be removing a wound the person left him with, just covering it up and building other relationships on top of it. All his life, this had been a fine way to go about these types of things. No one person's impact on him had really been significant enough to mention.

But it was different with Yuuri. Yuuri wasn't just a piece of his heart, he didn't simply have a small place to stay.

Yuuri was his heart, he held an iron fist over it. The love, appreciation, and kindness he showed and felt toward anyone else were mere extensions. Everyone else was the moon in comparison to Yuuri, his sun. If the Japanese man were to leave him, there would be no possibility of saving his world.

The very thought of it scared him silly. How he had come to rely so heavily on one person was beyond him. All he knew was that whatever process Yuuri had taken his heart through, it was completely irreversible. He could no longer detach himself from the dark-haired man. Just a shared glance would make Viktor want to hold him close. His eyes, which were richer than the worlds finest chocolate, would drill completely through his walls, and stare right at his soul every time Yuuri looked his way. But they wouldn't judge him, they only held a complete understanding for whatever Viktor was facing. The silver-haired man knew he had a one-in-a-million catch right in front of him.

But Yuuri appeared to have no special affection towards him, and he was so dazzling to the 27-year old. Yuuri had to know that he could leave Viktor at any time. He could go and easily wrap whoever he wanted around his small finger. Just the mental image of someone else holding Yuuri, his everyday bright light, enraged Viktor. Actually, if he was being honest, it terrified him.

It gave him nightmares in fact.

Lately, the thoughts had been so bad, that he avoided sleeping. However, when Viktor started to doze off during Yuuri's practice sessions, he realized he was going to have to find a different solution to this problem. So he started to work himself as hard as he possibly could each day, to the brink of collapsing with exhaustion. This way he would be so tired, that he wouldn't be able to dream.

But today was different. His body had gradually been building up stamina and muscles that Viktor hadn't factored into his plan. He knew that if he were to fall asleep, he was going to dream. But his workout hadn't been kind enough to allow him to avoid sleeping tonight, that much it wasn't lacking in. The Russian realized there was no way he could avoid his demons. He could leave and occupy himself with something tonight, but it wouldn't be fair to Yuuri tomorrow during practice.

Dread nestled quite uncomfortably in Viktor's stomach as the bittersweet feeling of sleep reached his eyes. The embrace that was usually a warm relief, was a cold death sentence.

* * *

Something had woken Yuuri up.

That much he was sure of. What it was, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. He braced his eyes for the blinding brightness of his phone's lock screen. The time read 12:09 AM, and zero new notifications. So Yuuri could rule his phone out. Barring anything from his phone, what could have possibly woken him up at this time? Yuuri drew a solid blank.

Deciding it was nothing, the Japanese man turned over on his side to get more comfortable. Sleep was already tugging at the corners of his consciousness when he heard something again. Yuuri figured it had to have been the thing that had originally heard... But that still didn't clarify what it was. Curiosity, more than anything, caused the dark-haired man to sit up in his bed and listen closely. Soon enough, he heard the sound repeat, this time a bit louder.

He recognized the sound this time, or so he thought, but the answer didn't make any more sense than the question. There couldn't possibly be a person crying out at this hour, could there? Defiantly not the person Yuuri thought he heard either.

Still, Yuuri stood up and walked out of his room. He traveled his short trek down the hall, reaching the door he logically reasoned would be emanating the sound, but couldn't quite believe. Almost at the same moment, he pressed the side of his head to the door. Another soft sob reached his ears, and his suspicion was confirmed.

"Viktor?" Yuuri whispered through the divider, "Are you okay?" He gave a small knock as well. A strangled half sob was the only reply he got.

Concern started to fester in the Japanese man's stomach. "Viktor," He said a little louder, the question in his voice dropping like a dead fly. A weak whimper came from the other side of the door sounding defeated and pained. "Viktor, I'm coming in, okay?" he said firmly. Yuuri had put the last part in a question, but he really didn't care about the answer. Usually, he would have waited for permission to enter his coach's room, but as the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Yuuri forced open the door (little force was actually necessary since the door wasn't even locked) and his eyes fell on the figure he had admired since he was a small boy. Viktor's hair plastered to his face, covers twisted like a snake around his legs, hands gripping viciously to the blankets as well. Viktor's face was twisted in agony, thrashing from side to side one moment then stiffening another. As if there was some invisible pain plaguing him. But it was a pain Yuuri was quite familiar with, the torture of a nightmare.

The student approached his coach's bed, kneeling down. He used his hand to gently push the sweat-slicked silver locks away, giving Viktor air. Maybe it was the cool air on his face, maybe it was Yuuri's hand, but Viktor's face began to relax ever so slightly.

"Yuuri..." He whispered weakly.

"Yeah Viktor, I'm here," Yuuri whispered back reassuringly. Although, he soon realized that Viktor was only calling out in his sleep.

"Yuuri, please...please" Viktor begged. The tone of his voice breaking down the person who he was pleading to with sympathy. His student's heart went out to him, and Yuuri moved his hand to Viktor's shoulder to wake him up.

"Please...hn...nn. Leave."

Yuuri drew back his hand that was seconds from touching the sleeping Russian quickly, almost as if he had been electrocuted. His heart was cracking, but he wasn't sure it was in sympathy anymore.

Viktor wanted him to leave?

It felt like someone had driven a knife through him. Had Viktor actually only been pretending to enjoy spending time with him? Yuuri had his suspicions of course, but it still cut his heart deep to hear his coach say it out loud. His coach. The man who had been inspiring him since he started skating. But after all, the woman did get tossed aside after getting seduced, maybe it had just been a matter of time. How would the Russian react if he wanted Yuuri gone and woke up with his hand on him? Well, Yuuri wasn't quite sure but to say the least he probably wouldn't like it.

"Sorry I didn't notice, Viktor. I guess I was just so happy you were spending time with me that I didn't stop and consider your feelings," Yuuri muttered to himself. Yuuri knew he would never build up the confidence to tell him under normal circumstances when Viktor was awake, but while he was asleep it was a little easier. Having spoken his piece, Yuuri stood up and turned away. Rather despondently, he made his way back to the doorway.

His walking out, however, was short-lived.

"Yuuri?" He heard his coaches soft, slightly hoarse voice call from behind him. He knew he should leave, entering Viktor's room in the first place had been a mistake. However, something stopped him, pulled him back around so he could face of his longtime idol, who, as it happens, was also facing him. Sitting up on his bed was the silver-haired man himself, wide awake and looking curiously at Yuuri.

"Oh! Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. You just were calling out in your sleep and I came to check on you. I'll be going now, so you can go back to sleep if you want." How did Yuuri not hear him wake up? The 23-year-old could feel the turmoil in his mind hitting barriers he recognized. He had to leave, right now.

"Yuuri." Again, it was only his name. But there was a different emotion behind it this time. "What did I say?"

The Japanese man turned away, trying to sound light and breezy, "Oh nothing Viktor, just grunts so I was worried you might've been having a nightmare." He waved his hand flippantly and moved to take another step, but Viktor's next words stopped him in his tracks.

"Then why are you crying?"

Until Viktor had said something, he hadn't even noticed. Now the salty stream was impossible to ignore, even more so to try to stop. He tried to fake a laugh, "I dunno. Heh, something must have hit myself on something. Stupid really. I'll be leaving now." Yuuri wasn't sure why he was lying. Maybe it was to save himself the humiliation of admitting to this larger than life person how bad what he had said in his sleep hurt him. Pathetic, much?

"Yuuri, Wait!" Viktor called urgently. He disentangled himself from his vice-like, suffocating blankets and flew across the small room. He reached Yuuri and wrapped his arms tightly around his form. His head buried itself in between his head and shoulder, naturally snuggling into his neck. "V-Viktor?" the Japanese man grew red. In all case-scenarios good ol' nervousness was always there for him.

"Yuuri, don't leave me. I'm sorry for whatever I said, just don't leave go." Viktor tried to keep calm but started to shake anyway, not sure how much of this was a cruel nightmare still taunting him, and what was a reality. Yuuri couldn't leave. He couldn't!

"Viktor? What's the matter? Why don't you want me to leave? " Yuuri asked surprised. The anxiousness he had felt didn't dissipate but rather switched its target. He had figured Viktor would have glad to see him go away but hadn't expected him to cling onto Yuuri's arm. This was getting confusing. And shouldn't he be happy that Viktor didn't want him to leave, not nervous?

"Yuuri. You said you thought I was having a nightmare. " Viktor said slowly, trying to make some sort of sense to both Yuuri and himself, "Well the only nightmare I ever have will become a reality if you go right now." Yuuri's eyes widened as the Russin soft, pleading voice cut through him. "Please don't make me go through that." Viktor's embrace became tighter, more desperate. "Please," he begged once more.

"Viktor, I-" Yuuri tried, but he was still confused. What should he do? He had to take a deep breath to keep himself calm. As ironic as it was, he was obviously the calmer of the two. The confused man looked for a different tactic and started again. "I don't know what you were dreaming about, so I don't know how I can prevent it from becoming real." He felt Viktor tense up," But..."He hurried on to make his point, "I have plenty of experience with nightmares, so what I do know is that usually, the best cure is to talk about it." as cliche as that sounds Yuuri added in his head."Wanna share what's on your mind?" He offered. The only reply he got was a small hesitant nod.

"Want to sit on some chairs?" A shake no was all Yuuri got. This was going to be a slow process.

"On your bed?" No.

"Downstairs?" No.

Yuuri was starting to run out of ideas, "Where do you want to go?" He felt a warm breath whisper something into his neck, so softly that Yuuri almost missed it. The small breath sending a small shiver down his neck, which was rather inappropriate considering the mood.

"My room?" He repeated back incredulously. A small nod was his confirmation.

"Um, well... Okay, if that's what you want." It was apparently a night of senseless decisions. Viktor knew it was probably unnecessary, but he nodded once more.

The two walked back over to Yuuri's room. The Russian had let him out of his grip to do so, but he still held onto the back of his shirt as if feared he could lose him on their short trek down the hall.

Once in his room, the dark-haired man had to look over his shoulder to see his coach, who was staring down at his bare feet. "Viktor?" Only his eyes moved, looking through his messy hair, almost meeting the Japanese man's eyes but resting somewhere on his face instead. Having mostly gotten his attention, Yuuri continued, "Where would you like to sit? Chairs?" There was a small pause.

"The bed," he replied quietly, barely above a whisper.

"But Viktor-" Yuuri was interrupted by his voice of reason(or unreason depending on the situation).

"Yuuri, there is only one chair in this room. You were going to have me sit in it and you were going to sit on the floor, weren't you? Tell me the truth." How Viktor could look firm and commanding without having to lift his head, was beyond Yuuri.

Said Japanese man gave him a guilty smile and a small chuckle, "You know me too well. But I don't see what's wrong with that, I'm used to sitting on the floor. It seemed like an idea to me."

"And it doesn't to me," Viktor said stubbornly, "You deserve to sit comfortably. More than I do."

"Viktor, that doesn't make any sense. I'm supposed to be comforting you remember?" Yuuri pointed out, fluffing up a pillow for Viktor. Then he cursed himself out mentally for thoughtlessly reminding him. His coach's eyes returned to his feet, sullen once more.

With a sigh, Yuuri pulled the silver-haired man over to the edge of his bed and sat them both down. He put an arm comfortingly around Viktor's shoulders and Viktor rested his head on top of his student's shoulder.

"So what's wrong Viktor? You had a nightmare, right?"

"Yeah." After a few moments of silence, Yuuri realized he was going to have to give him another nudge. He prompted him, telling him to continue, and the Russian hesitated another moment before starting.

"You left Yuuri. I begged and begged, but you still left. You said that anyplace-anyone- would be better than what you had now. Then you left. I was alone. All alone, and I had to watch you leave. Seeing that... was the worst pain I have ever experienced. Any injury I ever got from skating, any pain I've previously felt in my lifetime, was only about one-tenth of what I felt at that moment." Viktor's arms went around his student's torso, clinging tight once more to him.

"Yuuri." He said weakly, momentarily he went stiff. Then his shoulders started to shake, "Yuuri, please. Please don't leave." The dark-haired man could only stare at his coach in surprise, tenfold when he saw tears glimmering down his cheeks. Viktor hardly ever cried. Did Yuuri really mean that much to the happy-go-lucky skater?

Now was not the time to contemplate that, Yuuri mentally scolded. He needed to calm Viktor down, but how would he? How _could_ he? Running only off of what he knew to be helpful with fear or hopefully whatever Viktor was going through, Yuuri tried to think of something comforting to do. Hugs were good, right?

Half winging it and hoping for the best, the younger man wrapped his other arm around the front of the Russian, pulling Viktor into his chest. Then, more from instinct started to rock smoothly back and forth. Gently, the two moved slowly together for a while until Viktor's semi-erratic breathing had calmed back to its normal state. The metronome-like motion soothing his abnormally frayed nerves.

Yuuri ran his hand through the other man's silver hair, reminding him he was there (as if Viktor could forget) as well as giving him a comforting gesture.

"Viktor its fine now. That was only a dream." Yuuri thought as he spoke, making sure he choose his words and phrases carefully. "Besides, I have idolized you for years and I doubt I would have half of the skating abilities I have without your help, so who else would I possibly rather spend time with? Are you suggesting there is some other fantastic world famous skater willing to travel all that way to coach me? Not likely."

Viktor stopped swaying along with Yuuri and looked him dead in the eyes. "Is that true? Be honest, Yuuri. You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

Yuuri squirmed under his coach's intense, serious gaze. He couldn't believe had actually said that. He had merely been caught up in the moment. What was he going to do? What had Viktor asked it had been? Cheering him up? Yeah, he could manage to pull that off. Viktor would drop it and they would never speak about it again.

...

But Viktor said to be honest. Plus, maybe it was something he should know. It probably wasn't fair that Yuuri had kept it from him this long actually. In all truth, Yuuri kind of wanted to tell him.

Red adorned his cheeks and his face was aflame all the way past his neck. Yuuri took a deep breath to calm himself. He stared fiercely at his lap, eyes practically burning a hole into his legs. Still, he forced himself to say, "Y-Yes. You are actually one of the reasons I even went into competing in the first place, despite all my anxiety."

Having said it, he physically felt a burden being lifted from his shoulders. He hadn't known that had been weighing on him at all, let alone this much. He actually had to laugh at how light his chest felt, "To be more honest, I used to have like twenty-eight posters of you on my walls, but I took them down so I wouldn't look creepy when you became my coach. Although, I suppose you finding them wouldn't have-"

Whatever else Yuuri had been about to say would forever remain a mystery. He found himself laying on his back, two hands holding his shoulders down. Viktor loomed over his hostage, eyes rivaling the brightness of the stars. "You're not joking are you?" His frantic, almost desperate eyes searched over his student's face for any small sign he was lying.

"Not in the slightest Viktor, although now I'm kinda wishing I was," Yuuri said nervously, really worried he was really creeping his coach out. His mind didn't register the blatant hope in the other man's eyes.

Oblivious to worry, or anger, or really anything other than glee really, Viktor collapsed on top of the Japanese man. All of said man's breath abandoned ship quicker than the residents on the Titanic from that movie Viktor couldn't remember the name of at the moment (but it was really sad), leaving Yuuri to groan and try to recover.

"Yuuri! Yuuri!... Yuuri!" Viktor nuzzled his face into the dark-haired man's cheek. The only thing Yuuri could do at this point was laugh at his antics. His sense once more going A.W.O.L. "Is that all you can say?" He asked with a small laugh.

"It's the only word that can express my feeling right now!" The Russian clung close to Yuuri, his hug trying to wring his newly replenished breath from him.

Yuuri was left to wonder the many emotions that his name had been said in, this night alone. The variety was really the only breadcrumb trail to give Yuuri any clue about how things had gotten to this. It was rather impressive really. What was equally impressive was how Yuuri had managed to stay conscious with this little amount of breath.

"Viktor," Yuuri struggled to get out, "Cannh Breth."

"Oh sorry!" Viktor loosed his grip but didn't let go. Like he was ever going to willingly let go.

"I would like to assume this means you are all better now?" Yuuri asked amused. His coach could flip moods like a coin he was finding.

"More or less," Viktor replied cheerfully. It was kind of funny how one or two sentences changed his whole demeanor. Yuuri took a moment to marvel at how quick Viktor can recover with mere words of encouragement.

"Guess that means we can go back to sleep."

"Mm-hm. Guess so." Yuuri could feel a happy little grin on the side of his cheek.

"...In our own rooms."

"oh..." Viktor noticeably deflated, but once more, made no move to get up.

"Viktor...?" The silver man didn't respond. Instead, he nestled himself closer to Yuuri's neck and tightened his grip around the dark-haired man's form.

"Hey Yuuri," The Russian muttered, slightly distorted and muffled from his position, "can I stay here?"

"Viktor, I don't-"

"Please, Yuuri?" He begged, and the Japanese man was sure that if he could see his face, his coach would probably be giving him puppy eyes. Oh, snap. _Dang it!_ Thinking the words 'puppy eyes' had been a mistake! Now all Yuuri could imagine were the big blue puppy eyes. Fight it ( _or not_ )! Be strong ( _take a rain check on that_ )!

"Please?" The final blow had been struck. The dam collapsed in.

Yuuri grimaced. He was going to have to learn how to harden his will, it was embarrassing. "Fine," he caved, "But only for tonight, okay?"

"Got it."

"Now let me get more comfortable," Yuuri said. He tried to shift upwards a little, ultimately being weighed down."Are you just going to lay on top of me all night?" He asked sarcastically, subtly and more or less politely implying 'get off'. However, much to his surprise, Viktor replied with a little, cheerful, "Yep!"

Flushing with embarrassment, Yuuri gave up. 'Let's ride the crazy random train the whole way. Toot-toot!' he thought. Viktor wriggled upwards a bit more so his head was on his chest. Then, as if it was second nature, the dark-haired man's arms fell comfortably around the shoulders of the man that was already drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The emotion that Yuuri had been avoiding for so long suddenly peaked its ugly head. His anxiety. Although to be fair, who wouldn't get anxious? His idol was literally laying on top of him.

He tried to tell himself to calm down, but his nerves would not be soothed. He tried to mentally yell at himself to calm down, but that probably made it worse. The problem was that he was tired, but couldn't sleep. What would happen tomorrow at practice? The Japanese man started to hum to himself quietly. That usually managed to calm him down.

"What are you singing Yuuri?" A sleepy voice asked.

Well dang! Come on, how had he not realized that Viktor would hear his humming?! Seriously in case, he missed it, his head was on his chest!

"Ah, sorry didn't mean to disturb you. It was a song called America." Might as well answer, Viktor was already awake.

"The one by Simon and Garfunkel?"

Yuuri blinked in surprise, "Yeah! Wow, I didn't think that you would have even know about them. Let alone heard one of their songs."

"I like America. It's a catchy tune." Viktor muttered through the sleep that was calling his name.

"Yeah, but next to meaningless," Yuuri replied with a yawn, his tiredness also catching up.

"Mmm... Hey, Yuuri. Let's take the advice from that first line of that song."

"What's that?" Yuuri barely managed to form the question through his sleepy haze.

"You know... it was like "Let us be lovers... somthin something somthin. Yeah, I don't really member the rest." Yuuri processed this, his thoughts slower due to what time was.

Then, tiredness was given an all mighty slap in the face. Yuuri found himself wide awake.

What.

Maybe he had misheard. That was the logical idea.

"Yuuri," Viktor poked his arm, oblivious to the sudden change in the Japanese wake-o-meter," did you hear me?"

Just play it off, "No sorry must have missed it."

"America, Simon and Garfunkel, Let us be lovers. We should well... be lovers!" Viktor awkwardly phrased, but he made the point so he was happy.

After running through many possible answers, problems, solutions, Yuuri settled with the best possible one. Deny what is happening until morning, by then Viktor was sure to forget. After all, he was probably just caught up in the moment.

Yuuri made a point to ignore the disappointment that festered in his stomach at the thought.

"Viktor, you're tired. That's the equivalent of being drunk. You're saying things that you don't mean"

"So if I tell you again in the morning, you'll believe me?"

The dark haired man weighed his options very carefully, he decided to humor his coach. "Sure Viktor."

Satisfied, the Russian let Yuuri's heartbeat lull him into slumber. The Japanese man followed suit by listening to the steady rhythm of Viktor's breathing.

Peacefully, they both slept through the rest of the night.

* * *

 **This will most likely will have a chapter two. So how was chapter one? It was fun to make ^w^. I was listening to a Simon and Garfunkel CD, heard America and thought to myself,**

 **'Self, how can we make a Yuri! On Ice fanfiction out of this?'**

 **' _You can't. It has no apparent meaning.'_**

 **'Watch me fly!'**

 **So I was challenged really, not my fault. Sorry if it feels a little rushed here at the end.**


End file.
